Still Seeking Answers

I've been a bit quiet recently, a combination of waves and tendonitis in my wrists limiting the amount of writing I can do.

My husband has just left for the conference in London tomorrow. The links for the live streaming of this event can be found on www.CEPuk.org It should prove interesting and links will continue to be available after the conference.

I'm feeling wistful. I'm a long way away from the drugs but symptoms have been quite intense over the last six weeks. I have had breaks occasionally but they quickly morph into anxiety, tension and insomnia. On a more positive note most physical problems have eased off. I'm not worried, this period will pass and can only be further readjustment of a nervous system shredded by benzodiazepines over many years. There's a lot of repairing going on and I must continue to be patient. I have a supportive husband who never gives up on me and I realise just how lucky I am to have him. I hear many stories from people whose families have lost hope. This is so sad when there's much supportive literature on the net to 'educate' those unable to appreciate the brain damage that happens over long term use of benzos (longer than the two to four weeks) and the time it may take for us to repair. Later I hope to include, on another page, Peter Hayes-Davies' excellent guide for carers which can be shared with families and friends.

I continue to seek answers for all this but the truth is that nobody knows. There's been little research and little acknowledgement of the crisis. I still find it hard that there can be so much suffering with no recognition and no support by the medical profession. I know there's nothing been found to help and we should always steer clear of supplements and other drugs but it goes against all that we've learned in our lifetime; the correct drug can cure whatever ails us. Now we find that a drug we took to help a problem can actually cause serious illness that lasts months or years after it's discontinued. How can we ever trust anything again? I hope I feel less negative about the medical ignorance once recovered. For the moment I need to get back on track and find that flickering light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I will shine again eventually as we all will.